September 2nd, 2012
I have decided to record my entries for further research on
what the hell is wrong with me. It is now obvious to me that my problems are
completely psychological but what causes them is still unknown. I think I am
just a terrible person who only thinks of herself. It makes me feel even worse
when people are mad and I feel like I’ve let people down. I sometime overhear
my mother and father talk about me. I don’t get mad I just feel even more
disappointed in myself. At times like this my mother comes in and out trying to
patch things up but I feel like she shouldn’t forgive me. There are names the
positions give for what I have
1.
Panic disorder: this is characterized by a sense of impending doom and
physically feeling chilled, nauseous and/or sweaty. Panic attacks usually last
ten minutes and can even happen when a teen is asleep.
2.
Generalized
anxiety disorder (GAD): worrying
constantly and unable to relax describes GAD. If a teen finds his/herself
worrying like this for over six months, the teen probably has a generalized
anxiety disorder.
3.
Specific phobias: specifically and irrationally fearing
something to the point that it retards emotional growth characterizes the
specific phobias. A few examples include heights, tunnels, dogs, spiders and
blood. Sometimes these specific phobias can induce panic attacks
All of these lead to what I have and are all
specific anxiety disorders, panic disorder is when I have panic attack which I
had reoccurring ones every day for a year. GAD is the normal panicking I have
every day and lastly specific phobias and mine is the fear of death which is
one of the most common. Thanatophobia is the scientific term, I may have all of
these names for whats wrong but to veryone else I am just one word. Crazy.
